To Get Romance You Have to Be Intensely Practical

dating

My dating coaching has my own special style and touch, but there’s one thing for sure: it is very practical and it covers the fundamentals.  In my seminars (next one, Sat., Oct. 18th in Dallas – email me for info) private coaching (in-person, phone and email), we cover the “rules” — the things that work and the things that don’t work.  There’s a different set for each gender, but some are in common.

Here are just a few that apply to anyone who truly wants to find their partner:

1. You have to have a strategy, a plan.  I work with you individually on this.  You may live on a farm in Idaho, or you may live in a penthouse in New York, or on Perdido Bay in Alabama.  But wherever you live there are places to meet members of the opposite sex, and there is also the Internet.
2. You must get active.  You must put consistent effort into it.  No matter where you live, no one is going to come and knock on your door and say, “Here I am.”
3. You must persevere.  Know that word?  It means you don’t give up.  It’s already taken too long, or you wouldn’t be looking for dating coaching, but once you find that person, you will forget all about how long it took; except that you’ll value them even more.  Don’t go out once or twice, or join one Internet site for 6 months and then give up.  I won’t let you! 
4. Get yourself in shape!  (This includes dating coaching for the particulars.)  If you need a new haircut, a new wardrobe, to lose a few pounds, to clean out your car, or spruce up your house/apartment, do it!  Same with attitude.  Ask yourself, “Would you date you if you were someone else??”
5. Cut people some slack.  In most cases an email or two or a date or two is not enough to really get to know someone.  The whole thing is to get to know the other person – over time and in different circumstances.  Anyone who tells you they don’t get nervous is lying.  Remember – I’ve coached  and listened to hundreds of people. 
6. On the other hand, there are some you will want to, and should, eliminate immediately.  I will teach you how to recognize these.  When it happens, move on.  And don’t dwell if someone you liked doesn’t return the favor.  Move on!!
7. Remember your manners.  If you need to brush up on your social graces and etiquette, we will.  They work.  Call to confirm dates.  Show up on time.  Apologize if you must cancel.  Be polite.  Use nice language.  You only get one chance to make a first impression.
8. Be fun, but watch the humor.  Humor is very tricky.  Get to know the person a little bit first or sure enough you’ll tell a joke about a dumb Black Lab, and they’ll own and love one (for instance).
9. Keep the conversation give-and-take.  Don’t talk about yourself the whole time.  (Some people tend to do this when they get nervous.)  Ask the other person questions.  Listen actively.  Show an interest in their lives and what they’re talking about.
10. Exes are “ex” or you’re not ready to be dating.

Most of all, please don’t make that first date like a job interview or a deposition!!