Dog Days of Summer

This is a photo of Sirius, the Dog Star. **

Yes it’s slow right now. We are in what’s called the Dog Days of Summer*. It’s hot in the Northern Hemisphere, and we don’t have the energy right now. So, be patient with replies from others – it’s not an indication of interest.

From Antonia, reporting in to the Dating Coach:

He said he would call next week and he hasn’t called.

I told her to wait and be patient.

She called yesterday and said Warren had called her. He told her his daughter had been having premature labor pains, and he’d been busy with that, and was glad things had calmed down and he could “get back to her.”

There’s often an explanation like that, so don’t fret!

*Dog Days of Summer — from astronomy, when Sirius, the Dog Star, rises at the same time as the sun. Sirius is the brightest star besides the sun. Because of the precession of the equinoxes, it doesn’t do that now, but the effects are the same, because it’s really about THE HEAT IN THE NORTHERN HEMISPHERE.

Heat makes us lethargic, irritable … that’s why we have phrases like chill, and hot under the collar. People deal with it differently, but let’s just say that most of us right now aren’t going out into that 100 degree heat full of energy and enthusiasm!

This time period – noted by ancient Greeks and Romans, and even noted in The Book of Common Prayer, will last until mid-August, so if things aren’t “happening,” just do walk the beach, or settle in the A/C with a good book, and “chill”.

FROM THE MAILBAG:

“I know I should go to this meetup but right now just the thought of it makes me exhausted.” (Timothy)

Need I say more?

It’s really the sun heating things up, but Sirius-time, is Sirius business.

**Photo from wikipedia, from Hubble, believed to be in the public domain.

Will Smith Top Earner

Who’s the highest paid movie actor/actress this year?  

To quote OMG: 

In an era where risk-averse studio executives have declared men the more reliable movie stars– and the more desirable moviegoers — perhaps it’s no surprise that they are also the medium’s top earners. The reality: Hollywood’s 10 best-paid actors out-earned Hollywood’s 10 best-paid actresses 2-to-1 over the course of the year.

Highest paid?  Will Smith, who supposedly racked up over $80 million this year.  He made the top list of Forbes. 

DATING TIP:  Do you like to go to movies?  Mention it on your profile.  Music choice, and movie choice are great indications of how compatible two people are.  List your favorite movie , whether it’s “The Dark Knight,” or “Indiana Jones 4″ or Pacino in “Merchant of Venice,” whatever it is, it tells a lot about you.  So share your favorite movies and see what happens.

Marcelina fell in love with a guy she met online when he said his favorite movies were “City of Angels,” “Somewhere in Time,” and “The Notebook.”

Joshue and Candee clicked when they both mentioned “opera” on their profiles. 

Make yourself scarce

Sedelia works in a store where a lot of men come to shop.  She was suddenly assigned to a different shift for the last two months.  She called me this morning.  She had gone back to the original shift, and one of the guys who comes in PROPOSED TO HER.

Take-home points:

• This man was just divorced, and they are often desperate. Things like this will happen.  Beware the man (and woman) in transition.
• Make yourself scarce! 
• Men fall in love in the spaces
• Don’t make yourself too available!

(S)He didn’t look at all like his/her photo!!!!!!

“He didn’t look at all like his photo,” Marella wrote.  “Messy, fat, bald.”

“She didn’t look at all like her photo,” from Kenge.  “I wouldn’t have been able to pick her out in a room.”

“Do you look like your photos?”

“Are your photos current?”

“How come you look different in every photo?”

DON’T WE ALL STRUGGLE WITH THIS ONE????????????? 

“When I met him at the airport, I couldn’t believe it was him,” Suzette told me.  “He was so little.  Why do they lie about their height?  It isn’t that I minded so much, just that it was a total shock.”

But there’s a P.S. to the last one.  This couple spent seberal weekends together, and after about 6 weeks she called me and said she had fallen in love with him, that his eyes were soooo beautiful, and he had been so easy to get along with.  “I was so tired of those alpha types,” she said.  “He just voluntarily went in and did the dishes after the dinner I fixed just for him.  All 5′6″ of him.  I adore this man.”

PSYCHICS READ FROM PHOTOS … BUT THE REST OF US CAN’T!!!!!  It is so frustrating! 

If looks are the only thing that matters to you, you still have to go ahead and meet the person in-person.  I think we have a basically honest Internet community on the dating sites.  (Yes, there are some bad apples, and that why you should call me for coaching.  I can help you spot the bad apples right away.  It isn’t hard with practice and as much as I ‘ve seen and heard.)

I think we’re all trying to put the best photo we can find up there, but they are all different.  You just have to get past that part!  After all, whoever you marry, there looks are going to change … and so are yours!

Health is another thing. 

Manthia told me, “He said he was in excellent health.  We met for lunch at a nice spot, and his ashthma – or something worse – was so bad I thought he was going to die at the table.”

Now, that’s dishonest, folks!!

Melton wrote to my female client, “I have a mild anxiety disorder and so I can’t travel.  WOuld that bother you?”

Now that’s honest!

Hang in there and let me help you out.  And get past the photo things. 

P.S.  Have you ever seen the photos of the top models “before” their makeup.  In fact I once trained and certified a model to become a coach.  She said she wanted to coach young women because she KNEW that models weren’t that pretty in real life (said it was her long neck and high cheekbones), and that she had a lot to say about that to help young women. 

I was proud to certify her!

TIPS FOR THE GUYS

We don’t get turned on by photos of you bare-chested, with guns, bows and arrows (could I make this up?), or those ones where you stand bare-chested with your digital in front of the bathroom mirror and the messy closet shows in the background.

TIPS FOR THE LADIES

Watch the impression you’re creating by the outfit that you wear.
This is social – so a suit isn’t the best thing to wear.

TIPS FOR ALL

Do we like photo spreads?  Well, yes and no.  A few are nice.  But …

• If photography is your hobby, you don’t want to look OBSESSED about it.  One guy had15 photos of sunsets on his profile
• Don’t put weapons in your photos.  WHAT ARE YOU THINKING??  This doesn’t turn women on.  It’s scary.  Yes, we want a protector … but, well there’s one guy who had a photo of him pointing two pistols at the screen.  (Run, don’t walk.)
• Skip the ones of you with the stuffed animals.  Males and females both.  (What are you THINKING?)
• Guys, if it’s the wedding photo of your daughter, that so many seem to use, make sure you note it’s your daughter’s wedding and that’s your daughter you’re with (if you’re interested in women your own age)
• Avoid photos of you with members of the other sex that aren’t relatives.  It looks like you’re trying too hard.  
• Gals – here’s a big clue.  Men ‘run to type’ so take a look at that daughter and if she doesn’t look like her dad, she looks like her Mom, and you have a big clue there as to the ‘type’ the guy likes.  Men rarely change type.
• Both – get a current photo.  It’s only fair.

Get the best photo you can, of course, but we all gotta know that photos are only photos.  Meet the Real Person.  You aren’t going to date a photograph!!!

I’m in Love with My Doctor

This is one of the hardest things to deal with.  Xelenia called me to tell me that she was crazy about the doctor who was taking care of her father, and what could she do to attract him.  She said when he called about her dad, the doctor always chatted with her a little bit.  And he came to make house-call visits.  She dressed pretty and got her hair done and still nothing had happened.

She wanted to know if SHE should move it forward and ask him out.

If a man is interested, he will make a move.  We want you to find the love of your life, so please don’t waste time on your accountant, lawyer, dentist, or doctor when they have not shown a return interest.  And what does that mean?  If he is interested, HE WILL ASK YOU OUT.

Trelia was going through a divorce and on the second visit to her divorce lawyer, he told her he was referring her to someone else, that he wanted to date her.   You see, it is rather direct!  Not a problem, if the professional in your life is interested.

Don’t waste precious time in finding the love of your life!  Call me for dating coaching.  817-741-7223.

How to Lose a Guy

From the emailbag:

I had dinner the other day with Dreece, a really  good guy friend who is dying to get married.  That’s al he ever talks about.  He said the last girl he was interested in started calling him at work.  He said, “No, EYE will cal YOU..”  He was really interested in her.  She called back n 20 minutes and said , ” I thought you said you were going to call me.”  That finished it for him.  And he really wants to get married.

 Ladies, don’t make these costly mistakes.  Come and talk to me now!!!

The Age Gap in Dating

 

From today’s emailbag:

Dear Dating Coach:  I’m 60 and looking for someone online.  I keep getting emails, flirts and winks from younger men, even as young as 35.  My friends tell me I’m young for my age, in all ways, like active, looks, outlook, and that I should give them a try.  What do you think?

Dating Coach:  From Pavarotti to you-name-it, the age gap relationship is the one we love to hate.  Our culture prescribes that the couple be within 5 years of each other in age, with the man older, and any variation from this raises eyebrows … or snickers.

But it’s YOUR relationship.  And what matters is if it’s healthy and if it makes you both happy.  Please get some dating coach and let me go over some of these emails with you.  You can learn how to ferret out the losing propositions early-on, and save yourself a lot of time and grief.

There is no one-formula-fits-all, but some basic good advice for all is not to get emotionally involved until you are getting clear signals the person is right for you, treating you right, and interested.

If you have any age-gap-relationship stories to share, please do.  We can all learn from them.

Susan Dunn, Dating Coach
sdunn@susandunn.cc

 

Related article: http://naturalmedicine.suite101.com/article.cfm/age_gap_relationships

The Big Question

It’s something I hone in on with each client — what is it you really want?  You can’t have what you want, until you know what it is.

It’s important to be able to tell this about the profiles you are reading as well.  From a posted profile:

What I’m really looking for now is just a nice social time.  I had a bad divorce some years ago and then recently an affair that really broke my heart.  Frankly, I don’t have the guts to try again.

This is from a man.  Ladies, don’t make the mistake of trying to “fix” this man.  He has to “fix” his own broken heart, and until then, if you proceed, you are giving him carte blance to behave however he wants to. 

Gentlemen – kudos for saying how it is.  This gets people who are after something different from making a wrong turn.

Let me help you write your profile.  eMail me at sdunn@susandunn.cc and let’s get going.  Romance is NOT something to leave to chance.

How do you find your True Love

When you read the profiles on the dating sites, most people are really after the same thing … we’re looking for our True Love.  How do you find yours?  Well that’s what I do – a Dating Coach helps you find your true love. 

I was talking to an employment agency the other day and the woman told me no one was hiring.  Then added, “And if I’ve learned anything at all, it’s that these things are cyclical.”

Well, I talk to a lot of folks who are dating and looking and I’d say that activity is cyclical too, and this is one of those slooooow times.  Maybe folks are on vacation (wishing it were a romantic vacation with a new love), or too hot!, or they’ve got relatives visiting.  You never know – but we do know that there will be an upturn soon.

So now’s a good time to get with your Dating Coach and get your strategies lined up.  We can rework your profile, select some new photos, I can give you ideas for photos that work and what ones don’t, we can amp up your “social skills”…  This is a great time to get yourself prepared!  You don’t want to miss that great opportunity when it comes along.

I don’t think you should leave romance to chance, do you?  It’s too important.  Give me a call (817) 734-1471, or email me at sdunn@susandunn.cc and lets make good use of this time.

Because … he or she is looking for you just as hard as you are looking for them!

The Passive Man

From today’s email bag:

He writes …

But the reality of the situation is that we live 8 hours away.  That’s a long way to drive for a cup of coffee.  But you could come here.  I have a separate bedroom and bath and a nice swimming pool.  I’ll even pay half your gas for the drive.

OH MY!!

First of all, no woman – especially not YOU – is “a cup of coffee.”  What he would be getting is the PRIVILEGE of spending time with the BEAUTIFUL and EXCEPTIONAL YOU.

The response to this?  Delete it and block this man in preferences.

Gentlemen … if you need help writing those email responses, get in touch with me. 

IN RESPONSE TO COMMENT:

I certainly can recommend websites.  Match.com is currently the largest, so why not.  Then I work with each individual to find the myriad sites of special interest, certain locations, culture, and so forth.  Just to name a few, there are:

1. jdate for Jewish people and those who love Jewish people
2. Black and beautiful
3. horselovers
4. Keller Texas singles
5. expats in Bermuda
6. Christian singles
7. Single parents looking

Let me help you find the right mix for YOU.  Love is in the air and you don’t want to miss out!  It’s my passion to help you find your lover and partner.

sdunn@susandunn.cc